Marriage Material
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which Mr. Right Now tries desperately to becoming Mr. Right. But not too desperately because that would just seem, well, desperate. - One-shot.


Mira wasn't his favorite. Of the women he'd slept with. Or even of girlfriends. At all.

There was this one woman, back when he was still nineteen and she was, at least, thirty something that he'd been with and, well, she never got in touch with him again (he'd been out traveling, anyways, as a mage),but he'd always thought back to that as honestly the best sex he'd ever had.

And as far as girlfriends went, there were two that he had that he honestly, truly was in love with. Completely.

One, he was fifteen and she lived in another town and was his first love and blah, blah, blah. Fast forward two years, she hated him, he pretended like it didn't matter, life went on.

Still though, somewhere deep underneath all the hurt and forced passivity, he still kinda thought that maybe, now that they were both older, they could still make it work. Which he knew, of course, was stupid and it definitely wouldn't work and it was just a bad idea, so he only thought about it when he was really, really lonely.

Then there was _her_. She was another S-Class mage in another guild that was, honestly, just a good fuck at times that slowly became more. Until, well, he kinda got kicked out of the guild and went out to find himself and she didn't enjoy what he found.

He still saw her sometimes. Even told Mirajane about her, just to avoid her ever accusing him of anything (though he wondered at times if he just added more drama than it was worth, because even though Mira and her hardly ever did run into one another, when they did, it was awkward and, damn, why couldn't he just fuck around on Mira on the side and prove that he's still an asshole and, oh, he was totally still in love with Mirajane; heh).

Sigh.

Still though, Mirajane was...different, to say the least, than most of the people he dated. She was so good at being...innocent. And then dark and demented and only his and, wow, he was possessive over her. Completely and utterly.

He wondered at times if it was fair for him to keep her. If she wasn't even his favorite. Wasn't his first and only love. Wasn't his anything, really, other than his current girlfriend. And yeah, he did love her and wanted to keep her around for as long as possible, but even in the back of his mind, he knew that one day, probably, it would end.

It made him feel guilty.

Until he learned that his innocuous little she-devil wasn't nearly as exculpated as he was led to believe.

The woman didn't, like, cheat on him or anything. No, it was much worse.

"You don't...think of me as...marriage material?"

"Well, of course not, Laxus." Mira was just sitting there too, on her side of his bed (yes, she had her own side; what could you do), painting her toenails. He kinda was curious as to why she needed to do such a thing when she could just transform her toenails into being painted (right?), but said nothing, because he never said anything.

Oh, and the woman just insulted him.

"What do you mean of course not?" he grumbled, lying there, smoking away at a cigar. "I'm stable-"

"Not mentally."

"-I have a steady job-"

"Until your grandfather gets mad at you again and kicks you out."

"-and I love you."

"Awe."

"How is that not enough?" he asked, staring over at her. "What are you looking for in a husband anyways?"

"One that actually wants to be married, for one thing."

"Okay, I told you I never wanted to get married, like, a year and a half ago."

"What's changed?"

"Uh, gee, you're not just my occasional date anymore. You're my girlfriend. That's what's changed."

Mira only let out a slow breath, still messing with her toes. "I also want k-"

"I knew you'd bring that up." He huffed. "I could have a fucking kid."

"Laxus, if that's the way you phrase it, no you can't."

Growl. "I could have tons of kids!"

"You could _father_ some children," she agreed. "But you couldn't be a dad to them."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Laxus-"

"I'd have great kids." He puffed some smoke her way. "I'd take them to the park and feed them and clothe them and even let them have pets!" Then he snorted. "Come in my apartment and tell me I ain't father material."

"It's not an insult." She glanced his way that time. "Some people aren't meant to-"

"Why do you need kids anyways? What good are they?"

"And," she sang, "that's why you'll never be father material."

Heh.

"You should at least give me a chance," he complained. "You know, you never thought that I was boyfriend material either."

"Oh, you're not. I'm just passing time."

"Mirajane-"

"You've been a fun way though, dragon."

He huffed and then, quite literally, puffed. His cigar wasn't helping that night.

At all.

"Well, maybe we should break up."

"Oh, Laxus-"

"I mean, if you don't love me-"

"I do."

"Not enough to marry me!"

"You sound like a woman."

"You sound like a woman!"

"Good." Mira shook her head. "I am."

Oh yeah.

Shifting back against his headboard, Laxus only said, "Well, I'm glad I could help you pass the time until Mr. Right shows up."

"You're someone's Mr. Right, Laxus. And you'll always be one of my favorite guys." Then she giggled. "I love you. A lot. I just...I mean, do you see a future for us?"

"I dunno."

"You either do or you don't."

"I… I mean, I don't see us having kids or anything," he told her. "And I don't know if we'll ever last forever. But I want you. For as long as I can have you."

"And maybe that's only for a little while longer," Mira told him. "Or maybe it's for another year or another two or maybe ten. I just don't… The way we are now, no. I'm not going to marry you."

Laxus didn't take a puff of his cigar that time. Only took in a clean breath before saying, "I don't remember asking."

"Well, I'm telling. If you ever do, just...don't. Please." She resumed painting her nails. "And let's not have this conversation again."

So they didn't. And, yeah, those first few weeks after that were hard because he'd gotten his feelings hurt and she felt bad (sorta), but eventually they moved passed it.

Time went on. It wasn't like Laxus was, honestly, planning to ask her to marry him. Ever. He was just...annoyed that if he had, she'd say no. Which was silly. And stupid and why did he care? Mira wasn't even his favorite girlfriend; why would he make her his wife?

Mmmm. But she felt good in his arms and the way she called him dragon was divine and no one cooked him breakfast the way she cooked him breakfast. Then there was the fact that she was, honestly, one of the best mages in the entire kingdom. That was super hot.

Before they knew it, another two years had been tacked on to their relationship and, yeah, there were bad times, there were _horrible_ times, but they always worked through them. And Mr. Right was nowhere to be found.

Even if he was, Laxus had a wicked haymaker that he would have no problem with throwing in Mr. Right's direction.

You know, unless his Mrs. Right was with him and they could just, like, swap. Or be swingers. He'd thought a lot about that last one, actually.

A lot.

He also thought a lot about what the hell they were doing together. Mirajane had kinda sorta moved in to his place and he'd kinda sorta moved into hers (his apartment felt empty without her and her home, without him, was truly quite vacant as her siblings had long moved out) which basically meant they were always together, in one of the places, even when they fought, but could technically still claim to have their own homes because they were weird like that and wouldn't admit that it was probably actually time to commit or quit.

One morning, as Laxus sat at the kitchen table at her house, the dog that was totally hers slobbering over the smell of the breakfast she was cooking while that cat that was totally hers too (but really his) rested in his lap, the conversation sorta just...sprung up.

"The paper says that it'll be sunny tomorrow." He changed flipped the page. "And there was a murder last night. Fourth one this year. I think we have a serial killer."

"You say that every time someone dies in town." Mira sighed from over at the stove. "I think you just want there to be a serial killer."

He considered this before saying, "Meh."

Mira was humming then and his kitty was purring as he scratched behind her ears. Then the dog was whining from his mother's feet, complaining that she hadn't 'accidentally' slipped him a strip of bacon yet.

Sometime after all that, Mirajane began, "Hey, Lax?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Do you love me?"

"Mmmhmm." Page flip. "You know that band you like so much is in town in a few weeks and I was thinking about trying to get us some-"

"How much do you love me?"

He blinked. Then he scratched his orange cat's ears once more, but didn't get a purr that time. "More than I love anything. Other than Ralph here. He's my buddy."

That got a purr out of the cat. Not one from Mirajane though.

"I just… I don't know. Never mind." She sighed too then. "I guess it's just bothering me. You know, the wedding."

"I know." Laxus made a gagging noise. "This raises the chances of the Salamander reproducing, him getting married. Gross."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, I know what you meant. Lucy's one of your best friends and you're doing that weird thing women do where they're secretly jealous of the other woman, but try to play it off as excitement." Page flip. "Is there orange juice?"

"Laxus-"

"I'm asking for Ralph."

"Not that." And she was using her annoyed tone. Oh dear. "And you know it."

Sigh. "Mira, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything. I'm just saying that I thought I'd be married by now."

That time, he didn't flip a page. Just folded the paper and set it down. One hand resting on his cat's head, still scratching away, he said, "I thought you would too, Mira. I thought I'd have to step to the side and watch you walk down the aisle and pretend like it didn't hurt. But I haven't. So...I'm not going to feel bad for you. Not when I'm so pumped for me."

"Laxus-"

"Stop saying my name like that. I never stopped you from getting married."

"Well, it's kinda hard to find someone to marry when I'm super committed to not cheating on you."

"Good point." He stopped petting his cat. "Let's play a game. You can go sleep with as many guys as you like and I'll just sit here and wait patiently. Go find Mr. Right, Mira. I'll hold down the ship. I mean, shit, I only did everything you asked for the past two years. I'm definitely not him. Right?"

"Laxus-"

"I said to fucking stop saying my name like that."

"Do not curse at me."

He huffed. Then looked down at Ralph who was staring up at him. To Mirajane, he said, "Am I still not marriage material, Mirajane? Huh?"

"It's not about that."

"Father material then?"

"Lax-" She stopped herself that time. Then sighed. "I don't know, Laxus. I just want...I want a baby."

"This took a turn." Gently, he moved to pick poor Ralph up and set him on the ground. The cat only scurried off to go find somewhere else to curl up and be all passive aggressive and shit. "Welp, okay. Come get in my lap. Let's get started on the baby thing."

"Now you've pissed me off."

And if Mira was using that word, she meant it.

"I don't know what you want, Mira," he told her loudly, not even looking at her. Just staring straight ahead. "You said not to talk about getting married. You remember that? The one time we seriously discussed it? So I didn't. You said I wasn't going to make the cut, so I decided to just pretend like the line wasn't there. You've never once tried to break up with me, to go find this Mr. Right, and I've never once begged you not to track him down. What did you think? He was going to walk into this damn kitchen and just tell you that you were both soul mates? That's not life, Mira. And...I don't know if you just don't want me to be your husband or the father of your children or what the hell is wrong with you, but I do know that it's been good, the way it's been going. And I want it to stay that way. Babies or no babies. So make your choice; mine's always been the same."

She didn't make her decision that day. Just shoved a plate of bacon on him and left for work. As if it was his fault that he couldn't add up to every little thing she wanted.

Laxus was in such a funk over it that he skipped his workout that day and just laid around in bed with Ralph all day and contemplated just going out and adopting a kid for Mira. Maybe it was his genes that she didn't want. From the high arching eyebrows to the overall demeanor of the Dreyar clan, he understood completely.

Maybe they'd have a cute little normal baby that had no magic power and they'd have to raise like a regular ol' kid and it'd be fun. Or they'd get one that knew magic and they could teach him (or her) everything there was about it and that would be fun.

Or they could adopt a, like, teenager that he wouldn't have to potty train or whatever and that would be even better.

If they decided on adoption, he'd try and lead Mira down that road. Definitely.

But when she got home that night, they didn't talk about it. And they didn't talk about it the next day. And oh, there went a year. Wow. Time flies and all that garb.

Mirajane's dog died in the spring. She cried a lot and he dug a hole out in the backyard for him, to be buried in.

Ralph seemed to get passed it okay, but Mira was really broken up about it. She'd had the dog for awhile and, well, Laxus gave her some time for bereavement before just going out and buying her a whole new puppy and shit, that was a bad idea.

She, apparently, didn't like the idea. At all.

Heh. Leave it to him to be spontaneous and have it blow up in his face.

But he couldn't get rid of the poor mutt and, slowly, of course, Mira started to like it.

It really helped that it loved to lick her nose. She really loved that for some reason.

One night when they were lying around in bed at his apartment, Ralph curled up on his chest and the puppy napping between them, Mirajane started to moan.

"My neck hurts."

"Awe." He gave her his best sympathetic look. "That sucks."

"Dragon."

"I have cat, Mira. On my chest." He gestured to Ralph. "What do you want me to do?"

"You're so annoying." She snuggled her puppy to her then. "You big jerk."

"You hear that, Ralph?" He grinned sleepily down at his pet. "Mirajane thinks I should just shove you to the side for her."

"I do not." Then she added, "I'd just appreciate it, is all."

Heh.

"Not tonight, Mira," he sighed. "I can go get you an aspirin, but I don't feel like-"

"I was thinking a lot to day. Up at the hall."

"Oh, yeah?" He tried hard not to shut his eyes. "'bout your stiff neck?"

"Actually, I'm trying to stop thinking about that, thanks."

"Mmmm."

"I was… You know Lisanna's pregnant."

"Yeah, I know. You told me, remember?" He sighed. "But don't worry; I'm sure Bickslow'll do the right thing. You know, and not marry her or raise the kid, because it has enough problems, being related to Elfman."

Mira ignored that bit and said, "I want a baby, Laxus."

"I knew we'd get here again." He turned his head to the side to stare at her. "What do you want from me, woman? I don't know what to do. Just tell me-"

"If you'd just shut up, I'd like to tell you."

Oh. He immediately shut his mouth right up.

"I was… When we first got together, and we were still new, and you were still trying hard not to get too close, I decided that I was fine with that," she whispered, staring across the bed into his eyes. "And I never got out of that mindset. I really did think, like, for a long time that you were going to get done with me or that we'd have a huge fight and be done with each other, but it just kept getting better and then you got comfortable and I… I don't know. I just never saw myself with someone like you."

"Someone that loves you and takes care of you and-"

"Would you just shut up?"

Sigh.

Continuing, Mirajane said, "I guess it has less to do with you, really, and more to do with me. Because, you know, it's easy to say that I'm looking for someone get married to and have kids with and have a life and actually admit that I'm not young anymore, but it's not easy. At all. I just… I want a baby. A lot. But at the same time… And the more time went on, the easier it was to just pretend like it was you. Say you weren't cut out for it. You're so good at taking the fall for me. Being the one that's not adequate or whatever. And really, I guess...I'm scared."

That got him to sit up, Ralph hissing as he slid off the man's chest. Staring over at his girlfriend, he asked, "Scared of what?"

"I don't know. I guess that I'm really the one that's...you know, inadequate."

"At?" he prompted. "Because if you're about to say marriage, I call bull. You're great at being a girlfriend! What else is there to being a wife that isn't in being a girlfriend?"

"Laxus-"

"I hate when you say my name like that," he groaned, falling back onto the bed. "And you know it."

"I'm not...I don't know. It's weird, but when I think about actually marrying someone, I get all happy, of course, thinking about the wedding, but then…I wouldn't have an excuse for not at least trying to get pregnant. And the idea of having a kid's nice, but then I think about my parents and what happened to me and my sister and my brother and everyone else I know, practically, and how that can all change. Is it really okay to bring another person in the world when you know that you might die? I mean, look at us; we're mages. Who take serious jobs. Or at least you do. Constantly. And I'll take one occasionally. What if we died? Where would our baby go? To my siblings? Who take the same dangerous jobs I do? Or to your bodyguards? That suffer from the same thing? Or would our baby have to grow up with no one, like I did, and-"

"Is that what this has all been about?" He shifted onto his back again, trying to pretend like he didn't notice her tearing up. "Oh, demon, I have many answers to your conundrum."

"W-What?"

"We can get married, silly," he told her as he patted his chest, the usual signal for Ralph to hop back up there. It took him a moment of thought, but slowly, the feline did so. "And just not have a kid."

"What are you… Laxus, did you miss the part about-"

"I've been thinkin' too, Mira. About havin' kids. And you know that I think I'm, like, the purest genetic specimen in the entire universe."

"Why would I know that? When I'm not even sure what that means?"

"But," he continued, "I could see why that would be a burden on, you know, another person. It was hard for me to live with. And I would never want to shove that off on another. Especially not my own flesh and blood."

"What are you-"

"Let's adopt a kid." Then he added, "A teenager, preferably, that has most of life figured out. And I can just mold the rest of the way through. I could change diapers, you know, but I'd rather not. And kids between teen angst and diaper disasters are usually still maturing and they'll only change. You know I hate change. Better to find a kid between, oh, twelve and seventeen that wants to have only the best dad in the freaking world and can live with being his protege while also dealing with a mother that loves them and probably'll smother them, as well as a new puppy and the best dang cat in the world." He leaned down to nuzzle his head against Ralph's. "And if they don't like cats, well, they can hit the road."

Mira was still pretty teary, so he couldn't look at her. Slowly, she asked, "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"No. You said never to do that." Humming, he said, "I'm asking you to adopt a kid with me. Not bring one into the world. Take one that's already been put in it without their consent and that needs someone like you." Then, in case it needed restating, he added, "A teenager that's well adjusted and-"

"Laxus, this is serious."

"I'm serious."

And he was.

"I don't know what to-"

"You think about it, Mirajane." He was rubbing at Ralph's back then. "Think a lot about it, actually. It's kinda required, I think, before you go down a pick out a kid. Do you pick out a kid? Or do they assign one to you? Is there a form or something or-"

"You're not in a hurry or anything?" she asked. "To-"

"No." He even shook his head. "But I don't know about you, but I sorta believe in fate. And that the kid- Teen, I mean, that we do adopt, is the one that we're meant to. And I'd rather not keep them there for too long. You know? I hear that it kinda sucks, being without a parent."

"Yeah." She sniffled just a bit. "It kinda does."

Turning his head to the side once more to stare over at her, he only sighed before moving to, once more, force Ralph off his chest. That time that cat was having none of it and took off running from the bedroom to go find a place to rest that wanted him. Laxus only sat up though before gesturing to his girlfriend.

"Come on then." He rubbed his hands together. "Let's take a crack at that neck."

Things weren't, of course, that kinetic. They didn't get married right away. Not even that year. And it was only after they did that they had an open and honest discussion about adoption.

So yeah, Mira wasn't his favorite fuck or girlfriend or sometimes even his favorite person to be around. But she was his one and only wife. And the mother of the thirteen year old girl that they ended up taking in who was super serious about her magic and reinvigorated his drive for training (she kinda forced him into it; it was all she ever wanted to do with him, really, and he wanted to bond over something) as well as the four year old boy that Mira _somehow_ conned him into adopting four years later that he was able to just sit around in his underwear with and eat junk food when his daughter wasn't forcing them to, like, training or whatever.

Bleh.

But yeah, those two things, being the wife and mother, far outranked any of the other things.

Far.

* * *

 **I don't even know where this idea came from. I kinda just wanted to write and it just popped out. I like the idea though, of them adopting kids. Given how screwed up all the childhoods are of the people in Fairy Tail, it just seems like a thing that more than few of them would do. And just a good thing to do in general.**


End file.
